Thursday, June 10, 2010

Spousal Acceptance of Polish - Part 2

Well, I hope you found the previous post intriguing. So let's explore this subject from a guy's point of view...

Guys, you have one thing going for you; many women tend to be very open-minded to new styles and trends. In my opinion, women are masters at creating, adopting and refining new styles and they do it with such flair and finesse that it seems pretty much anything they can come up with looks great. So, what this means to you is that your wife/GF may already be open to the idea of you wearing nail polish on your toes, they may just need to see an example of it done well before they accept it.

However, there are always a few gals who will look on this and frown on it, thinking that it just is not manly for a guy to wear nail polish at all - even clear. And those are the cases we'll focus on here.

The first step is to introduce the idea in a way that it is genuine and tasteful. What I mean is that she has to be able to see it as an emerging style for men that does not threaten her values or beliefs about what is 'right'. If it's on a goth (and you do not dress that way) or someone who is openly different than her taste will allow, it may do more harm than good. As with men, you cannot force an idea on someone if they are not first receptive to it. In that case, you may end up building walls in her mind that are even more impenetrable than what you started with.

Here are a few situations to begin your process that I would consider ideal:

1) You spot a guy with nice looking feet. He may or may not be wearing polish, but you point out to her that you wished your feet looked better, like his. This does not threaten her ideas and allows her to consider how it might have a legitimate benefit. If the guy is wearing polish, and it is done well and in good taste (girl colors like pink or red or chipped nails would not make a good first impression), then it may be just what she needs to see first-hand that it really can work and not look weird, as it might in her mind if you were just talking about it. Pictures could work too, but there is nothing like a real-life example.

2) You get a pedicure together. Now this make take a little pre-work to warm her up to the idea, but a great opportunity to do this is when you are traveling and out of your normal environment. Everything is new and different, and so something like stopping in for a pedicure is just another adventure to enjoy exploring together. You could even ask the nail technician if they ever see men getting color (and the answer will probably be yes), and what colors they suggest for men. If nothing else, this can open the door for further consideration on her part since she now knows you are interested, and that it's not unheard of for men. Maybe the tech may even have some example pictures, or better yet, a male client right there that you can see getting his nails done.

3) You can just spring it on her. Go out and just get a pedicure with color! You'll certainly enjoy it, it will be exicting (especially the first time), and you will break the ice for yourself and for her. If you have laid the groundwork for it by occasionally talking about it with her, like if she is doing her nails sometime, you can comment that you wonder what it would be like, or maybe that you like the way it looks and think it might help your feet (if you don't go overboard, that is).
There is the shock factor to deal with, and you could just write if off by saying that you thought it would be funny, interesting to try, you lost a bet, or whatever you can think of that will make light of it. Using humor can take you lots of places you could otherwise never get to.

4) You could take an interest in her nails and not only compliment her on them, but treat her to occasional gifts of maincures and pedicures at her favorite salon, give her nail polishes that you like for her to wear, give her foot massages, even offer to paint her toenails for her (but you better practice on this up first so you don't make a mess!). The more you are interested, the more she may associate you with polished nails, and then you could begin dropping hints that you have seen it on a few men and wonder what it would be like. Wearing polish privately is a 'safe' way for both of you to explore this new experience together. And remember, it's not permanent.

One thing she may be sensitive to is whether you seem to be interested in more feminine things, other than nail polish. And if that is something that you know turns her off, then you had better be sure to focus on just that because you like it for what it is and not even think about the other stuff because she could very easily lump it all together and think that you've suddenly changed teams on her.

Gradual is the key. As I said before, I have found that most women are quite open-minded, but they also need time to warm up to different things. There is nothing wrong with a guy wearing nail polish - it's not a lot different than if you wanted to grow your hair longer, get a tattoo, wear an earring or even buy a motorcycle (if you have never had one before) - it's just different and she will need to adjust to it. So be patient with her, she'll get there when she's ready.

Okay, so what if she is absolutely against you wearing any kind of nail polish and there is no way she will even consider it. Then my friend, you will need to consider what it's really worth to you. Probably not the relationship, and maybe not even the hassle of fighting about it. You may have to settle for step One, just having a pedicure once in a while and enjoying some great-looking feet sans polish.

I wish you the best in your journey and hope these suggestions are helpful. You may find that your wife/GF has already been thinking tabout this, and all she needed was a hint from you to admit it. In the previous post, the situation was turned around, and I got the idea for that post from a number of gals I have conversed with both in real life and over the internet who told me that they really wished their husband/BF would at least consider a having a pedicure to improve the look of his feet. And not all, but many went so far as to say they wished their guy would consider polish too because they thought it looked "cool", "nice", "neat", "different" (in a good way), and even "sexy".

Hey, let me know how it goes, and certainly comment here with your successes.
Even if you're not getting anywhere with her, let us know so maybe some of my female followers can offer some more advice from their point of view.

1 comment:

  1. Hi Jake.

    Don't know if you are still monitoring this blog anymore or not but regardless I wanted to let you know how you've helped me.

    As you state in your profile it was "in me" for a long time. I just never pursued it. Well about a year and half ago I took my wife for a Valentine's pedicure which she loved and giggled a bit because I went to a *gasp salon. Over time this became a regular thing and I began to get the itch for color. One time she also got a manicure and I got painted (OPI Dark Side of the Mood) as a funny and it looked really cool (of course). She just thought I was weird and let me wear it a few days but was ready for it to come off soon.

    At that point I started looking online to see what the mood was about men and painted toes and came across your blog (and others) which was the most impressive of all I had seen. We are about the same age and have the same attitude about toe paint and how it relates to other "issues". Like you I am not into cd or trans or any of that, I'm just a regular guy that happens to love wearing nail polish on my toes. Eventually she agreed that I could get color but she was still very unsure about it for a long time and thought that I was just weird. Now months (and many colors) later it is something we enjoy doing together. I have almost from the beginning worn them out in public. Mostly because after the first time I forgot I had color and wore my sandals out shopping. But just the other day after a visit to the salon we stopped to get some ice cream and a guy at the checkout complimented me on the color, said that he got pedicures with his wife and maybe next time he'd get color too. That was the first time she had ever heard anyone comment on it outside of the salon. As we were leaving she said, "OK, you win" with a smile. This time was the first that we ever got matching color, ILNP's Ultra-Holo Cygnus Loop.

    So, sorry for the long post, thanks for the inspiration, hope to maybe meet you one day and happy polishing!