Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Spousal Acceptance of Polish

Many of you have asked about this - both gals and guys - so I will take a shot at the question. But, I would like to hear from you as well since we all have different experiences that others can also learn by.

I will start with answering the question for the women. A number of gals have asked me how to get their husbands/BF to do anything to improve the look and condition of their ugly feet. And they ask this because many men will not even consider having a pedicure just to get their feet into a presentable condition because they feel that it is not 'manly'. Some women would even like their guy to try out polish on their feet, but are met with rejection because "guys don't wear nail polish".
Well, some guys actually do.

We have all have been programmed from a very early age to act in certain ways and to beleive that certain things are true. And those beliefs are very hard to change. But the key to changing those ideas is that we have to have a reason to change. And it has to be something that we think is valuable and beneficial to us, and not something that anyone else can force on us if we don't want it.

For example, let's say that you are grossed out by his ugly feet whenever he goes barefoot or wears sandals. That probably means that he is not going to receive any favorable attention from you when he does, and probably he'll get less than complimentary comments as well. But, if you present him with a solution that he beleives will change the way you react to him when he does this, he may then have a reason to change his behavior. It might be a gradual or stepped process to help him get there without enduring a huge leap, so be ready to work it out. And it may take lots of encouragement too!

The thing he is probably the most concerned about is riducule and rejection if he does something that others feel is not appropriate. What you have to do is convince him that what you like and want him to do is more important than what others think. That their perception is not yours and his reality. If he beleives that you like it and there will be benefits from doing it (that outweight any downsides), he'll go for it. Guys can be pretty open-minded when you remove the hurdles.

It may take time and patience, so don't expect him to cave right away. But keep up the compliments and encouragement and you will make progress. Try talking him into going with you for a pedicure early on a Saturday morning when the nail salon is quiet (call ahead and arrange this). You and he can then relax and enjoy the treat without him fearing any unwanted attention. Ideally, you locate a salon that enthusiastically caters to both men and women so that he sees other guys there too. There are more and more salons wiseing up to attracting male clients because they know it means more business, and repeat customers.

You might even start with giving him a pedicure yourself at home if you are up to it so that he can experience the benefits privately and learn to associate them with being with you. Many men like this kind of personal attention and are more inclined to agree when a trusted friend is involved.

Talking him into trying polish may be as easy as having clear be a part of the routine pedicure. You could even suggest a non-gloss clear like OPI Nail Envy to make his nails look much cleaner but without the shine. Moving to color will take a bit more finesse and you may need to scope out a good 'guy color' before hand so that you will already know how it will look. Bolder guys will jump right in with a little encouragement, and so you can be a bit more creative here. But pay attention to his comfort factor so that you don't go over the line. If you do and he reacts , you may have to start at 'square one' again.

If he will agree to wearing his nails polished in private, for your eyes only, that may be one way to get him more comfortable with the idea and avoid the 'what others think' issue. At least in time, he will become used to it and may even like it himself. A surprising number of men who have tried this, even with being quite unsure at first, have ended up really liking wearing their nails polished because it's fun - same reason why many women do it!

Well, what is your experience? I'd like to hear how you may have talked your guy into tyring polish, and what your successes have been.

Next time, I'll explore this from the guy's side. How to get your wife/GF to warm up to it.


  1. Thanks Jake,

    I'm looking forward to your next article. My wife supported me when I first started wearing polish, but recently has had a change of heart, as she thinks my feet look better than hers, even without polish. She has been self conscious about it since an indiscreet comment from a customer at the salon where we were both having a pedicure together. I have tried to assure her, but to no avail. I still wear polish, but I can tell it makes her feel uncomfortable, so I have taken to wearing nudes.

  2. Love your blog! Just love it. I been getting manicures and pedicures for years. I always wanted to do color. And after reading your blog. I will do in next week when I get my pedicure. I am going to take a look at the BB collection and see what they have. If not I will go with a black on the toes. Can't wait. Thank U!!!

  3. Hey Kevin, it sounds to me like an opportunity for you to treat your wife to some special attention, either in the form of pedicure vouchers, or maybe you could learn to do this yourself for her.
    My wife always enjoys a good foot rub including massaging oil into her cuticles. That alone will help keep her nails and skin soft and looking great!

  4. Mac, thank you for your great comments and I am glad that I inspired you to try color! Black has always been considered a 'safe' color for guys, and now that it's quite popular with women as well, it's much easier to find some cool variants on basic black too.
    I think after you try a few colors, you will find some that work well for you. But be prepared, once you try color, it's hard to go back to plain!

  5. Thanks Jake,

    I did give here a pedicure last night, and she really seemed to enjoy it. I even painted her toes with OPI's "Here Today Aragon Tomorrow" over some Seche Base and topped it off with some Seche Vite, she really looked good, but her comment was that "it just isn't right that you (I) know how to do this so well." LOL! I caught her showing them off to some folks at church today, so the spell might be broken.

  6. I was in a convenience store the other day and the gal behind the counter was telling me that her boyfriend does the designs on her toes for her because he's so much better at it than she is.
    Besides, she said she likes the 'treat'.